I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve tried to update this blog. There have been several lackluster attempts over the year. I’ve purposefully plopped down in front of the computer, sometimes for as long as a day, and just written my lil heart out about where I’ve been, what I’ve endured through the past months, and what I’m hoping to accomplish in the months to come. Lamentably, without fail, these efforts have been fruitless. I’ve hated the dry, passionless words that have trickled out of me, like weak streams of urine from an elderly man with a swollen prostate. What I’m discovering is that, after everything I’ve weathered, my former narrative voice no longer fits. The way I used to write belongs to a me who doesn’t exist anymore. I’m still trying to rediscover myself, which means I’m still lost. This is a frustrating revelation, because I feel like I’ve been trying to become UNLOST for FOREVER. I’ll unlose myself eventually though, probably. Hopefully. Everyone’s just going to have to be patient until I get there though, and that includes me. ESPECIALLY me.
Thank you to the people who reached out to me in my darkest hours, who looked in, checked up, and let me know that I mattered to them. I’ve been to some very dark places since I last wrote, and you were part of the light that led me through that. Please know that I am safe and well, and generally happy. I have a long way to go, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without your kindness and concern.
I am working on many projects, and in the coming weeks/months I’d like to address each of them individually, because each project is precious to me and deserves its own lil write up. So be on the lookout for updates, ones that hopefully will be timelier than the one you’re reading now.
Take care, be well, and thank you for everything. Talk soon.
V
October 1, 2025